I thought this was hilarious until i realized that he probably thought these things his whole life, along with most of his family and friends #ignorance!!!! All black people arent the same!!! Just because you have black friends doesnt mean you cant be racist !

Original can be found at: http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/justin/12-11-05.htm

Ten Things I Don’t Understand About Black People

>>> Casual Misanthropy
By staff writer JD Rebello
December 11, 2005

But first, a disclaimer…

Listen. I’m not racist. So if you’re looking at the title and thinking, “Oh boy here he goes, get your ALCU handbooks and humorless views on life out, we’re writing a letter,” save it. Yes, I make my fair share of jokes about African-American Human Beings, but the way I see it, how am I any different from those Original Kings of Comedy-type whose entire schtick consists of variations of “White people walk like this…black people walk like this…” jokes? I’m not.

Furthermore, if I’m allowed to say this shit unfettered, it provides yet another aspect of our culture that the two races have in common. Personally, I think of myself as a fucking pioneer. I like black people. I have black friends. I enjoyedBaby Boy. I’ve watched porn involving black people (either that or the lighting was bad). So in conclusion, if you read this column and still think I’m a racist, please don’t read me anymore. It’s that simple. Oh yeah, and go fuck yourself.

And away we go…

1. The N-word.

Let’s talk about it. I know it’s a horrible word, something akin to dropping the C-bomb around a chick. I guess what baffles me is it’s cool for blacks to say it to each other.

“Fashizzle my dizzle? C’mon Snoop, in 1993 that talk could get you killed in the LBC. I’m disappointed, black guys, that you let this happen on your watch.”To continue my parallel, isn’t this something like one girl saying to the other: “Oh is that Sarah? Is that my cunt Sarah? Cunt, get over here! Damn cunt how you been? It’s been ages.” They don’t. Now fine, you consider it a sign of solidarity and that’s cool. (By the way, I loved being able to write “cunt” that many times and it’s not even all that offensive given the context.) I guess my question is: I know whites shouldn’t say it to blacks, but is it okay if we say it to other whites? Like if I met my white friend Timmy and was like, “Hey nigga, want to go to the Gap? No don’t invite Steve. I hate that nigga. Oh nigga please.” Can I say that without black guys giving me the old stink-eye? I think that should be okay. But I figured I’d get the “it’s all good” from you first.

2. Why are black girls so damned loud?

The reason I ask is I’m afraid the affirmative action people are going to get involved with espionage, and now we got Monique and Shaniqua sneaking into Kim Jong Il’s palace in the middle of the night and suddenly being all, “OH SCHNAP. MOTHERFUCKER I BROKE A MOTHERFUCKING NAIL! SHANIQUA CHECK THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OUT!” I’m just concerned for the welfare of this country.

3. Black guys, do you really like white girls or do you do that just to piss white guys off?

Because, I’ve had this happen where a cute white chick gets with some crazy ghetto black dude. And it pisses me off. Not that I’m against interracial dating, that’s fine. I just wonder, because black girls don’t really like white guys. You have to realize, too, white girls are kind of insane. Seriously, they spend ridiculous amounts of money on The OC DVDs, I don’t think they truly understand the plight of the black man.

4. Are you guys really still mad about slavery?

I mean, geez it was over a hundred years ago. And it’s not like you personally were held slaves. Yeah, slavery sucked but Jews still don’t piss and moan about the Holocaust. Shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on bitching about something that happened over a century ago and not even directly to you?

Okay don’t look at me like this wasn’t going to get insensitive at some point. Sometimes we have to confront the hard questions here at Casual Misanthropy.

5. Do you guys really like pig’s feet?

Because it looks disgusting. If you like the taste that’s fine, it just baffles me is all. How about cow uterus? Is that any good? Dog pelvis? And what the fuck is a chitling?

6. Do you guys really think D.L. Hughley is funny?

Because I’ve watched a few of his comedy specials, and honestly he’s about as funny as a documentary on child abuse. But I see black guys in the audience just whooping it up.

And that leads me to my second question: What is wrong with black audiences at black comedy specials? Nobody just laughs, it’s like a full body dry heave, like they’re trying to hack up a Toyota Land Cruiser. I get scared, that’s all.

7. Is everything really racist?

I hear this all time. “I asked for no tomatoes. There’s tomatoes on this. That guy’s a racist!” Do you really mean this or is it just an easy way to call somebody out? You know who I think is a racist? George W. Bush. Seriously, I realize nobody’s said this yet, but his reaction post-Katrina leads me to only one inexorable conclusion: George Bush doesn’t care about black people. Seriously, I know I’m the first person to say this. Oh, hi Mike Myers. And you brought your friend, Beating an Obvious Joke Into the Ground. Let’s go to Chris Tucker.

8. What rapper is it okay to like?

And which rappers are too watered down for lame-ass white folk? Oooh, can I guess? Ok. I think you’re cool with DMX. And I guess Jay-Z, even though honestly all his songs essentially sound like “Uh, Rockafella uh uh…” and so on and so forth. Is Eminem okay? Well, let me rephrase. If he wasn’t white, would he be okay? I think 50 Cent blows. I’m not scared of you, 50 Cent. Bitch ass hoe. How about Vanilla Ice? Just kidding. Let me know. By the way, black guys, how come rap music sucks now? Huh? Seriously, the two pioneers of early-90s gangsta rap have been relegated to Coors Light commercials and coming up with incomprehensible lingo for Eugene Levy to spout in the next Queen Latifah catastrophe. Fashizzle my dizzle? C’mon Snoop, in 1993 that talk could get you killed in the LBC. It’s depressing, that’s all. I’m just kind of disappointed, black guys, that you let this happen on your watch.

It just seems like all rap music nowadays is like, “Look how rich I am. I get mad bitches. Check out this bling.” Although if rap survived Cam’ron, I think it can survive anything. God, Cam’ron sucked.

9. How come you all look alike?

Just kidding. But seriously, do you think all white people look alike? Because, no offense, I think all blacks look alike. Same with Asians. Even Jews. People from Connecticut? They ALL look alike. Same with gays. And pretty much any minority group I may have forgotten. You know who looks a lot alike? Portuguese people who write shitty college humor columns. See, can’t get mad now, because I self-deprecated. Self-deprecation. It’s like a life jacket.

10. Did you really spend $200 on shoes?

And what does Avirex mean? Those seem like awfully big pants, is that really necessary? Do you spend more on laundry? How come you guys don’t have to fold the bill on your baseball hats? And why is the tag still on there? Sorry, I’m trying to get as many questions in as possible. Please don’t hate me. I love black people. Fresh Prince!

You have such a spirit that causes a quiet confusion. A now self-conscious contradiction, with an underlining sense of new found confidence.

**avoId uGly sOuls wearing beauTiful Skin** PLAYED

I’m completely underestimated and undermined when it comes to my abilities in this world. It seems as if the people i surround myself with take me for granted. Life is always going to be tough but when you have people who pretend to be you freinds, its even harder!!!

Everyone out here has an ulterior motive or some sort of crazy secret that drives them. Unfortunately i have befriended a person who’s motive is to crush the hopes of all young and future leaders of this world. But thank goodness i was raised not to let everyone get so close! i got played on the low but its ok,  jus put on my hat and kept it moving!

-PO’d A.C.

We exist in the sweetest silence. Our souls appreciating the songs we sing but cannot hear, gently dancing thru each others minds. Keeping the recollections of the past, only to dream of the love we await. We dream together as one, after dawn creeps to awaken us , the whispers of dusk pull us apart.

-A.C.

When it comes to relationships our generation are somewhat confused, but nowadays who says thats a problem. My parents dated for like 50 million yrs before even kissing. My dad had to ask my grandparents to take her out. But of course they’re foreign, so when they came to the USA, that ended quickly, once my mother found out that women actually can speak without being spoken to first.

Now us on the other hand; date, sort of, but then again that even sounds too much for us. We just” talk”, hang out, chill or what not. Slim to almost none have wives/husbands and trust me that won’t last lols. Others have boyfriends, girlfriends or both. Most of us have baby mamas, baby daddys, “mains” or wifeys, sidelines, friends with benefits, cut buddies,boos or jump-offs. For most, commitment is a hard concept to grasp, we may believe that its what we want until something new and shinier comes long.

We are given sooo many different options. People have extended their past networks from just their neighborhood to all across the world, and that is only their Facebook. Now if we factor in twitter, skype, oovoo and all the other social networks, you get something new every time you accept a friend request or read your timeline, perhaps it may not be “shiny” every time but everyone has friends and their friends have friends and so on. Thus making the decision to spend the rest of your life with only ONE person beyond far fetched. Plus we all want “instant gratification”  and get bored entirely too fast.

So is it wrong of me to believe that long-lasting steadfast relationships are becoming extinct? Both men and women don’t know what they want and i don’t believe that they’ll figure it out anytime soon.

Everyone of course hopes for a relationship like their grandparents or the notebook….but then goes and cheats or they’re boyfriend. We, generation Y say one thing and and do the complete opposite. If you want better,you gotta do better.

Always,

A.C.

I prolly should of posted some sort of “welcome to my life post”, so here it is. Welcome all to the wonderful world of Charli! I’m a college student just making my wayy thru this so called thing “life”. Possibly not the girl of ur dreams but hopefully some1′s . . .lols.   Please feel free to ask as many questions as they arise, ill be sure to give you my 100% honest answer and response. I’m here if you just want to vent, tlk, rant, brag, or what have you.  Thanks all!!

-A.C.

North Carolina A&T’s homecoming was this past weekend and i must say it was pretty awesome! i totally understated how great of a homecoming my school was capable of, “The Greatest Homecoming on Earth” mos def! But it wouldnt have been as great if i didn’t have great friends to spent it with. At the end of the week its truly you and your friends that make the most awesome homecoming. Aggies from all over the country and world (Kuwait) come back to help celebrate this “holiday” Homecoming. And that it definitely is, a return to one’s home, AggieLand.The whole city shuts down for this one event, ive never seen anything like.   I met a countless amount of new aggies this past week that shared with their stories from their days at T. Its truly an unforgettable experience! Unfortunately i didnt see any Ques do anything stupid like everyone said but possibly nxt yr. i had such a great time….thnx 2 AC!

Ohio –i would like to think of it as a place jus to pass thru, but somehow i always manage to stay and linger. . . .